Today, mum has had her first dose of chemo. She looks so fragile, so small and pale in her bed. The "medicene" is already making her sick, it's a poison that her body wants to remove. I am also afraid that if I am around her too much, she'll catch my cold and it'll make her feel even worse. I wish I could just wrap her up in cotton wool and promise her a lifetime of good health.
Oh, if only I could give my mother good health, I'd do anything to give her that.
Pepe, my step father, is with her now. I have retreated to my room, hiding from the scariness and the reality of all of this whilst I am plugged into my music.
I am thankful for my music, it blocks out the sounds of my mum crying and being ill. In a way, I am trying to censor out the things I don't want to know. It sounds pathetic and childish, but I want to be able to remember my mum as the determined, strong, amazing woman I know she is, not a delicate, pale creature, who is weakened by this disease.
I know she has a lot of fighting spirit in her.